I'm fake

                                                            

 Early last year I felt prompted to give up social media.  I loved my instagram and Facebook accounts.  I loved sharing the funny moments of my life and pictures.  I found I didn’t like the way I felt after looking at my feed and I felt I was turning to it every spare moment.  Instead of feeling closer to my “friends” I felt irratated by how some were portraying their lives.  I could see they weren’t being honest, I could tell they were virtue signaling, I could tell they were trying to boost their self esteem.  I could tell they were bragging, showing off, putting themselves above others.

I then began to see my part in it also.

When I decided to give up all social media I was really tested.  It was right before Jarom came home from his mission.  I really wanted to share his homecoming but when I asked myself why I wanted to share it I found my pride was an underlining reason.  I wanted my friends to see how handsome, and spiritual he is.  Then I asked myself does it even matter to them if I post about him?  I don’t have many nonmember friends so it wouldn’t be much of a missionary opportunity.  Lots of “friends” are posting about their kids coming and going on missions and it feel like a virtue signal.  It felt more about the missionary than it did serving the Lord.

I didn’t want my Instagram to be like all the others and the only way I could get around that is to not have one.

It killed me to not post about Jarom.  It killed me to not post about Jennica leaving on her mission.  I didn’t post about our cruise, my trip to NYC with Jace and Jennica, grandma.  All of these events I had great pictures, but I asked myself: “What is my post really saying?”  Each time it could be seen as all the things I mentioned above.  It’s easy to justify that my motives are not to get likes or comments- so if that’s really the case then I don’t even need to post about them.  I did care about the likes and comments…I’m just like everyone else.

It’s been 7 months since I’ve been on social media.  7 months since I’ve made a post…and I haven’t missed anything.  No one has even asked where I went, which tells me it’s all self-centered.  Not once have I felt like I missed out on something.  Instead my attention is where it needs to be.  No more lost hours as I fall into a random rabbit hole.

Today in RS many people expressed the distractions, addictions,  and problems with smart phones.  I found it interesting that no one even mentioned the consideration to remove themselves from it.  Instead the discussion was about the temptations they were.  We aren’t being “acted upon” by technology.  Thats our choice.  Just because “everyone” is doing it (and everyone really is) doesn’t mean it needs to be part of my life.

Christ asks his disciples to be a light to others.  He asks us to be different.  How can we be different if we are so worried about missing out on what everyone IS doing?