Warning sign?

   Sam passed away Thursday February 27th.  There is no way I could have known this would happen but God prepared me for it.  He whispered to me months ago when I was scheduling blood work for Jennica and myself.   I told Sam I was scheduling blood work for both me and Jennica through Function but the way it came out left me feeling like I wasn’t including him.  Which, I obviously wasn’t including him, until I felt like I was being rude for not including him. 

“You should check Sam’s too.” The Spirit advised.  

“Do you want to do it too?” I ask hesitantly, because each person is $500.  He thinks it’s a great idea that Jennica and I are doing it and agrees he’ll do it with us.

I feel anxious to get it scheduled ASAP. I was concerned about Jennica the most.  I loved the idea of a full body check with direct areas of focus.  All 3 of us had appointments a day apart so our results trickled in over the next two weeks together.  I checked daily seeking assurance that we were ok and wondering if something big was going to be discovered.  None of us had issues, but I felt an urgent need to get moving on it.

One of the first results that came was our biological age.  I bragged that I was 9 years younger!!

Two days later Sam’s age came back 11.9 years younger.  (Overachiever!!!)

The day Sam had his first visit they drew 10 vials of blood before 11am.  That evening he came home from work and got on the treadmill and blacked out.  He came to me laughing about it saying: 

“I think I just passed out. I got light headed and then I woke up on the floor.  I don’t remember getting to the floor and I don’t think I was there for very long, I can’t tell for sure. "  🙄

 He laughed at how odd it was and then I remembered we were told NOT to exercise after the blood draw.  

"Of course YOU do it anyway." I laughed at him. Sam doesn't know how to take things easy when it comes to exercise.

A few days later ( It was Feb 17th, Presidents Day-No school.) He spent some time in the basement on his bike.  Joshua was in the exercise room with him around 3pm.  I was upstairs getting ready to take a timed Proctor test for my Family Theories class.  Joshua calmly came upstairs and told me Dad needed me then proceeded to swing on the doorway swing.  

“Why?" I ask.  "What did he say?”  I didn't have time for  a "sam chit chat" 😁

“Just go see!”  He said with urgency.  His tone made me nervous but his calmness confused me.  

“Go see.” The Spirit confirmed.  I hurried down to the basement and found Sam passed out over his drum set. (Like he fell backward onto them.)  A cord was keeping his head elevated but the rest of his body way limp tangled in the drums.  He had a cut on the back of his head and was bleeding a little.  

When I approached him his eyes were open but he was not responsive. He looked dead. I was able to move him flat on the floor and in doing so he came to consciousness almost immediately.  Joshua had followed me into the room and I had him run and tell Jennica to come down and bring her phone.  I thought I was going to need to call 911.  By the time Joshua and Jennica came Sam was awake.  

 “Mom, is dad dead?” Joshua asked bluntly.

 

“No, he’s not dead.” I answered in the best comforting voice I could muster, but pretty sure I saw death on his face.

“Whew!" He explained.  I thought he died.”

Sam heard this and reassured Joshua he was fine. 

"I'm ok Bud." He says in a forced breath.  

I wiped the blood off his head and asked Sam what he was feeling.  He said he felt tingly and cold.  All he could remember was getting off the bike to plug in his phone near the drums so Joshua could play to some music.  He thought maybe he got off the bike too fast or something and blacked out.  He couldn’t tell how long he was out.  I knew it was at least 2 minuets. Long enough for Joshua to come find me. (and he wasn't in a rush.  Which confused me.  He was serious but very cautious.)

I made Sam come lay on the couch in the same room as me while I took my test. I had to have the test completed in less than an hour.

I kept looking at him to make sure he was breathing.  He said he was feeling better.  

I completed my test in 55 minuets as he lay next to me, looking dead.

 

Joshua brought blankets to keep him warm and made an ice pack with ice cubes in a ziplock to place on his head, then asked if he’d like to take a bubble bath with him.  When  4 year old Jadon saw the two of them headed to the bath he dropped what he was doing and tagged along.  

The three of them climbed into the tub with jets and music blasting.  

“Mom!  You have to come see this!” Joshua yelled, having no idea where I am in the house.  I could hear the smile on his face.  They were having a party.  I walked into the bathroom and the boys were up to their necks in water and Sams awkwardly stuffed between them.  Sam’s color looked good but something didn’t feel right.

The blood work results take 2 weeks to be finalized with Clinician notes. When I checked to see if they were final,  Sam did have other new results so we pulled them up to see if anything could explain what had happened.  His heart markers were mostly out of range.

During their bath, I pull up our Health Insurance Plan online and  begin shopping for a cardiologist.  It’s President’s Day so nothing is open, and the following day he is leaving for a work in AZ for the rest of the week.  We decide he will call and make an appointment during the week and hope to get in as soon as he returned. 

I demand he take it easy the rest of the evening and shun him to the basement to watch a movie.  He protests and says he has an errand to do first but won’t tell me what it is.  

“I’ll tell you after I’m done.” He promises and rushes out the door.  While he is gone I return to his blood result page and am surprised to see  NOW it was updated with clinician notes.

He was gone for about an hour and when he returned I immediately smelled something different. 

“Where were you?” I ask trying to place the scent.  Did you go to a doctor?”  He smelled clean, like soap or something.  

Bashfully he admitted that he went and got a pedicure. 

“A PEDICURE??!!  You just went and got a Pedicure?”  I loved that he did something like that but could sense that he was embarrassed about it so I toned down my mockery.  

In the 27 years we have been married I have NEVER seen toes look normal.  We’ve even named his toes: “Monster Toes.”  Eight of his ten toenails are the wrong color, thickness, and shape. He says it’s because of all the years wearing cleats playing football.  I accepted that for the first half of our marriage but after 15 years I could see they were not getting better.  I had to buy medical clippers to cut through his nails and wear protective eye glasses to get the job done. I loved the challenge of working on them.  It didn’t gross me out.  

When Joshua called me into the bathroom to witness their bath party I did notice Sam’s toes.  He slid them under the water just as I approached.  I didn’t say anything or bring attention to them but he must have been embarrassed by them.

“Let me see what they did!” I beg with a proud smile.  I imagine the scene being like when Jim Kerry get’s a pedicure in Dumb and Dumber.  He tucks his shoes under his chair and acts like it’s no big deal, when IT IS A BIG DEAL!  Knowing his hide and seek game can’t go on forever I stop pestering him and I bring up his lab work again and show him the clinician notes. 

“Do you feel any of this?” I question as we review it.  “I don’t feel anything.” He admits as he is shoveling in a spinach salad with no dressing.  Nothing feels different but something feels wrong.  He admits.

I send him downstairs to watch a movie with strict commands not to move but then little Jadon climbed on his lap.  Nothing about Jadon is calm but he sat still with Sam as if he intended to actually watch the movie.  Sam was watching Ford vs. Ferrari. Jadon doesn’t like loud noises.  I figured he would run away sooner than later so I let him stay for the brief cuddle while I made a trip to Walgreens to buy all the supplements that were recommended from the updated notes

.

I call my mom immediately when I get into the car to talk through what is happening.  Jennica pulls into my driveway just as I am pulling away and jumps into the car with me, and listens in on the conversation. 

I hand her the list of all the recommended supplements to hunt down while I stand in the middle of the aisle, still on the phone with mom.  The three of us trying to process what is really happening.  

“Mom, is dad going to die?” Jennica asks when we get back inside the car.  

It felt like I knew he was, but I refused to believe it.  We were both feeling it, but that didn’t make sense.  

Thirty minuets and $200 later I have 2 large pill boxes stuffed with supplements.  One he will keep in the kitchen and take in the morning and the other he will keep in our bathroom and take at night.  The plan felt like progress but still incomplete.  

It’s my week for “put downs” (bedtime routines) so I announce it's bedtime and hunt for Joshua and Jadon.  To my surprise, I found Jadon in the same spot on Sam.  The two of them watching the movie with surround sound that is shaking the house causing Joshua (upstairs) to ask if we are having an Earthquake.

“He loves it!” Sam beams.  They were like two boys playing cars!

I say the word "Bedtime" and Jadon immediately begins to cry like I pulled the plug on fun.  He makes it known he is disappointed but he will still stop what he is doing and march off to bed in obedience.  It’s heartbreaking and so adorable at the same time.  

He jumped off the couch crying, but keeping an eye on the TV until he started up the stairs.  I handed Sam a Lime Gatorade and asked how he was feeling.  He said he was fine, but gets light headed when he stands.  He stayed up late watching another movie that shook the entire house.  I can’t remember the last time he did that.  He loves watching movies but his life doesn’t allow time for it.  I was happy tonight he was sitting still.

10 days later he steps off of the treadmill at home, lays down and dies.