I found Sam Thursday morning in our exercise room it was 9:30am. Our morning routine was “off” but it didn’t make sense until I got back from dropping kids off at school. He wakes at 4:30am for personal worship, 12 Step Study, and exercise. He would make green smoothies downstairs in the basement (because the blender is loud) and leave them on the kitchen table for the kids. Then he’d have 2 boiled eggs with his “secret green sauce” waiting for me. That morning when we were ready to leave, nothing was in the kitchen but the lights downstairs were on so I knew he was downstairs. Most the time he is already gone for work by the time the rest of us make it downstairs. I figured he would be rushing upstairs any minute. We left without our breakfast. Twenty minutes later when I returned, I saw his truck still in the garage and my heart knew something was wrong. I went into the house and nothing had changed. Still no smoothies or eggs, and no smell of freshly showered Sam, but the lights downstairs were still on. I went into to the living room and started picking up, hoping he would appear because I knew things weren’t right but I didn’t want to face the reasons why.

“Go check on him” I told myself.
As I turned the corner in the basement I could see the lights were on in the exercise room and I could hear a motor running but no resistance. Either he was on his bike or the treadmill. I opened the door and found him on the floor alongside his bike and the treadmill still going at full speed. The noise was so loud I ran to it first and yanked the emergency cord then turned to Sam. I knew he was gone. God was with me. The horror of the moment was near but I stayed calm while the police dispatcher coached me through CPR. I knew it wasn’t working but I kept going because it was keeping me sane. The neighborhood filled with emergency vehicles and I had to leave Sam’s body to let them in. As they rushed in and out, I sat on my stairs like a child in timeout crying. They worked on him 45 min or more before they came with the official news. I wanted to throw up. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even give the ages of my kids or school names.
Last night I saw him to dress him in burial clothes. I’ve been dreading it all week but when I saw him my body was filled with joy and peace. I just kept saying “I am so proud of you”. I feel so honored to have been his partner during his time here. He fought “the natural man” like a Warrior…to his dying day. Sam was open about his weaknesses. We are Missionaries in the Addiction Recovery 12 Step program. For the past 3 years we ran a meeting every Thursday. So, for those 3 years I have watched him testify of the healing power of Jesus Christ EVERY Thursday. I have witnessed Sam work the 12 Step program to heal relationships in his life, even our marriage. I stand with Sam in testifying that Christ is the ultimate healer source of strength. I am strong today because He is with me.
This is a picture of the shirt Sam was wearing. The paramedics cut it off and I found it in the garbage can in the exercise room this morning. No way am I letting go of this! It represents Sam’s life 1000%
I’d like to extend an invitation to you reading this from Sam. If you are struggling with an addiction or anything that is affecting relationships in your life…turn to God for strength. He can change your desires, God can soften your heart, He can change you!! Ask God to help you WANT to change. I witnessed this in Sam, in my personal life and in our marriage. My best memories will be of our conversations at 12 Step meetings.
I know God is aware of me and our situation. He is with me. I love Him.

https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/?lang=eng

Ember Taylor Hobi