The Last Night

I drove out of the neighborhood as Sam drove in.  I had an appointment with Jadon’s Special Ed Preschool

teachers and Sam was taking the boys so I could have a night off after the meeting.

  

The boys; Sam, Joshua (8) and Jadon (4) ) spent the evening playing Nerf Wars in the church gym while I went shopping for room decor and picture frames for my new space. 

I don’t enjoy shopping, but this night I spent hours inside Michaels. Not because I love Michaels, but because I needed to be alone! Tuesday-Friday I was alone with the kids while Sam was out of town. I left the store at 8:30pm. and was faced with the dilemma…do I go home first, or go straight to pick up Abi from work?  I decided to unload the bags at home first.  When I pulled up to the house I found the boys were still away.  I ran the bags up to my new room and closed the door hoping to hide the bags full of Easter and St. Patricks decor from the kids, and the room decor from Sam.( It was part of a surprise.) On my way out, I met the boys in the kitchen, each holding a flimsy paper cup filled with colored liquid. 

“Snow cones?” I question Sam. 

“I didn’t do it.” he innocently proclaimed.  “They made them at the church.” 

He knows I am not a fan of dyed flavored liquid, especially this time of night.  I slipped Jadon's cup right out of his hand and dumped it before it dumped anywhere else. Joshua entered the house bragging to me that he had spent the night “shooting guns!” while at the same time eying Dad for back up support.

For the next 10 minutes Sam and I were left undisturbed in the kitchen and he quickly shared about his day before I had to leave again. We talked about a team meeting he felt good about and a productive therapy session he had just before coming home.

He began with: “Remember last year when you asked why I wasn't happy when I finally had the job I've always wanted?"

I do remember that conversation. It was hard for me to understand why he wasn't experiencing the passion I thought he would/should have. He acted the same as he did with any other job.

"I know what my problem was!" He continued. "This year my students are getting all of me."

He stood at the oven warming up food with his back to me but was talking over his shoulder. 

"I’m letting them see me" He turned to face me with his full attention. "All of me." he smiles.

I know what he is referring to and I know why he is smiling. He's told me about students coming into his Office just to hang out. At first he didn't know what they expected from him so he didn't know how to respond. I told him "they want to hang around you because you are interesting. Just talk to them." I suggested. " Let them see you."

I’m finally living my dream job you were asking about!” His voice sounded hoarse and I wondered if he was starting to get sick.

"I’m letting them SEE me." He reflected with confidence. "It feels good"

I'm excited to go to work each day and I get excited while I’m teaching!"

 Hearing this was music to my ears. He was showing up in new ways in all areas of his life. I was happy to see and hear passion in him again.

I left to pick up Abi and returned only 20 minutes later (9:30ish) and the house was silent, the kids in bed, and a candle burned in a CLEAN kitchen!

He had never left a candle burning like this before. I knew he was trying to make my night enjoyable by having the kitchen clean and the house quiet.

I blew out the flame, already appreciating my night off. 

I went to my new room and instantly felt better. I scrolled on my phone for a few minuets and saw this clip. I have never watched this comedian before nor do I know why it was in my feed but he had me laughing out loud. I sent it to Sam down the hall. It is totally us, roles reversed 😂

His response... our final text: