The Last Night

Wednesday February 26th I had an appointment with Jadon’s Special Education Preschool Teachers at 6pm. 

At 5:45pm I called Sam to see if he was close to home.  He was just getting off the exit. 

I drove out of the neighborhood as Sam drove in.  We talked on the phone and made plans that he

and Jadom would attend  Joshua’s first Activity Days at 7pm and I’d take the night off after meeting

with Jadon's teachers and then pick up Abi from work at 9pm.  

The boys (Sam, Joshua (8) and Jadon (4) ) spent the evening playing Nerf Wars in the church gym while I was shopping for room decor and picture frames.  I don’t enjoy shopping, but tonight I did. Tuesday-Friday I was alone with the kids, while Sam was out of town. Today, Wednesday,  I spent hours in Michaels.  Not because I love Michaels, because I love being alone!  I finally tossed the bags stuffed with St. Patrick's Day and Easter decorations into my car at 8:30pm.  I was faced with the dilemma…do I go home first or go straight to pick up Abi?  I decided to unload the bags at home first.  When I pulled up to the house I found the boys were still away.  I hurried and ran the bags up to my new room and closed the door. On my way out, the boys arrived each holding a flimsy paper cup filled with colored liquid.  “Snow cones?” I question Sam.  “I didn’t do it.” he innocently proclaimed.  “They made them at the church.”  He knows I am not a fan of dyed flavored liquid, especially this time of night.  I slipped Jadons cup right out of his hand and dumped it before it dumped somewhere else. Joshua entered the house bragging to me that he had spent the night “shooting guns!” (Another thing I am not a fan of but I rejoiced with him)  For the next 10 minutes Sam and I were left undisturbed in the kitchen while he quickly shared his day at work.  He had a team meeting he felt went really well.  “Remember last year when you said: “ You’re finally doing the job you wished you had all those years. You’re living the dream…why aren’t you happy?”    I wasn’t giving it my all. I’m not holding back anymore.  This year my students are getting all of me.  I’m letting them see me…all of me…and it feels really good.  I’m excited to go to work each day.  I get excited while I’m teaching.  I’m finally living my dream job you were asking about!”

Hearing this was music to my ears. Sam was showing up in new ways in all areas of his life.

I left to pick up Abi and returned only 20 minutes later.  The house was silent, the kids were in bed, and  a candle burned in a CLEAN kitchen.  I went to the candle and blew out the flame.  Finally, a night off.

I went to my new room and instantly felt better.  I sent a text to Sam joking about our current situation:

Sometimes your bedtime routine doesn't turn out the way you want it to. | Nate Bargatze - YouTube